In case you haven't noticed, it's Friday... and time for your weekly distraction from work. This week's gem comes from my proclivity for watching human trainwreck videos on YouTube. For the most part I enjoy watching people suffer the consequences of their own idiotic actions, and this compilation video of guys taking themselves out of the reproductive pool allowed me to do just that.
I don't know why, but I just can't stop watching Steve Porter's remix of the Slap Chop commercial (featuring our friend Vince, who's no stranger to the Slap Chop himself). Just thought I'd share...
"...it would be a lot better if they called it 'HSIOW: Holy Shit! It's Only Wednesday!'"
- George Carlin
So here I am and it's Wednesday. Hump Day. I haven't yet gotten a Guilt of the Day out to you this week, although there's good reason for that. This week is just not my week, what can I say? Anyway, so as not to leave you in the void I'm getting this video out to you today... I needed a laugh today and I figured you could use one too.
Note: This video is potentially NSFW, so watch at your own risk!
Guilt Of The Day 2/27/09: Kevin Pollak Does His First (and Hopefully Last) Vlog
Alright Mr. Pollak, you put the challenge out there — so I'll bite. Your first attempt at a YouTube vlog was, well, let's just say it was not award-worthy. In fact, I would say it's not even worthy of the time you spent making it nor the time I wasted watching it. My conclusion: you're doing it wrong.
Now, don't take this the wrong way Kevin (may I call you Kevin?); I am not a "hater" — quite the contrary — I typically enjoy your work. Maybe that's why I felt so cheated by your first vlog. The lighting was poor, the Simpsons poster in the background was tacky, and like Dustin Hoffman you should've left the hat out of it.
As for the content of your video... let's face it: there are so many others who've done Oscar commentary already, and it has pretty much all been better than yours. I mean, you're a comedian, aren't you? Do you mean to tell me that you couldn't have come up with something, anything, better than a mediocre impression of Walken (Yours is better than Spacey's, but Jay Mohr's is the best IMHO) and terrible impressions of Arkin and Shatner (Your Shatner isn't bad, but you could have at least made it relevant). I know impressions are your "thing" Kevin, but yours need more polish overall. Work on that, won't you?
I have some tips for your next vlog Kevin:
Lose the hat. It makes you look ol... nevermind.
Lose the Simpsons poster, too.
See that light on your desk? TURN IT ON.
Write content that's a) relevant and b) actually funny.
In general, stop using bad and/or stale impressions and BE MORE FUNNY.
